I Believe God Provides. I Still Live Like It's All on Me.

Most of us never decided to leave God out of it. We just never thought to include Him.

Not in the big decisions. Not in the small ones. Not in the Tuesday afternoon project that was quietly eating the week alive.

I've seen that pattern in plenty of businesses over the years. I've seen it in my own life too.

By the end of most days now, it takes me less than five minutes to notice where I left God out of it.

That wasn't always true. There was a stretch where entire months went by before I noticed the pattern at all.

But I've also learned something.

Believing God provides and living like it's all on me were never actually opposites. One was what I said I believed. The other was just how I operated, day to day, without ever deciding to.

Here's what closed the gap between them.

The Project That Wouldn't Move

I'd taken on a new client who needed a full year of bookkeeping caught up, starting from January. And it needed to be done by yesterday. (I don't take those types of projects anymore.)

It never occurred to me to ask God about helping me get through it.

The way I was working through it, just getting to the end of March took a full eight-hour day. Three months, one entire day.

At that pace, I wasn't going to finish for at least three more days.

And I still hadn't thought to ask.

Too Small a Thing to Ask About

Somewhere underneath, I just assumed bookkeeping wasn't God's department.

Not because I didn't believe He could help.

QuickBooks. Banking transaction order. Reconciliations.

To me, that felt too small, too technical, too granular a thing to bring to God.

So I didn't ask.

I just kept working the way I already knew how, one slow month at a time.

Until I finally hit a wall and did something different.

What Happened When I Finally Did

When I came back to the project the next day and realized the pace still wasn't going to get me there in a timely fashion, I finally said it.

"Lord, if there's a better way to do this, please show me."

He did.

He doesn't always answer quickly. In this case, He did.

This client had multiple bank accounts with numerous quantities of transactions running through each. God showed me a specific order to work the transactions in, account by account, that I never would have landed on myself.

What was taking me three hours per month took two hours for nine months.

That moment changed more than the project timeline.

The Belief Underneath the Silence

I didn't ask God for help at the start because somewhere in my mind, I'd already decided His help was reserved for the big, spiritual categories.

Not the granular mechanics of a Tuesday in QuickBooks.

That assumption is what I want to put the spotlight on.

Not the software. Not the bookkeeping.

The belief that some parts of my day are too small to bring to Him.

There's no task too granular for the wisdom I'm being offered daily. (James 1:5)

But recognizing that belief and consistently acting on it are two different things, which is where the next part of the story comes in.

From Months to Nightly

There used to be a season where months would pass before I noticed I'd been making all decisions, big or small, without including God in them at all.

Now it's different.

Some nights, it's a quick, almost immediate recognition of where I carried something alone instead of bringing it to Him.

That shift didn't happen through willpower. Trying to remember more, or feel guiltier when I forgot, never worked for long.

What actually changed this habit was implementing the action steps in a book my spiritual and financial mentor, Pastor Jim Baker, recommended to our coaching group.

It's called Practicing the Way, by John Mark Comer.

Rearranging parts of my life around the disciplines of Jesus identified by Comer has been less about achieving anything and more about becoming someone for whom partnering with God is normal, not something I have to remember to do.

And when partnering with God becomes normal, what shows up is hard to explain until you've experienced it yourself.

What Actually Shows Up When I Ask

Ideas. Forgotten details resurfacing at the right moment. Complicated things becoming simple, the way that QuickBooks solution did.

None of that is theoretical to me anymore. I have evidence, over and over, that asking works.

And still, there are days I carry pressure alone anyway, out of habit more than belief.

Which is exactly why I want to be honest about where I actually am.

I Haven't Arrived, But I've Left

That's a phrase I first heard from Andrew Wommack, and it's the truest way I know how to describe where I am.

This isn't a finished state. It's a direction.

The question was never whether I believe He provides. It's whether I'm actually living like it, one ordinary decision at a time.

If Any of This Sounds Familiar

The QuickBooks moment wasn't really about QuickBooks.

It was about what I had never thought to ask Him about.

If you're honest, you probably have a few of those categories too.

Maybe it's the financial decisions. The business pressure. The months that feel like they depend entirely on how hard you personally push.

Most of us never decided to leave God out of those either.

We just never thought to include Him.

If that's sitting with you right now, The 5 Money Lies Keeping You Stuck is a good next step. It's a free guide that gets underneath the beliefs most of us carry about money and provision without ever examining them. (link)

But before you go — what's the category you've never thought to bring to Him?